You're my little dorito
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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