You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
