That's when you crack a 10am beer
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
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Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
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This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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