Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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