the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
