Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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