oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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