My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
