when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize