are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
