...so i touched it.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
