Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
