I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.