So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
