I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
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her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
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Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.