Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
