AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
