But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
