Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
