All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
