Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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