So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize