Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
