weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
