he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize