Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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