so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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