I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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