things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
