He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
