It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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