Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
