Nicole vs. Life
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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