I just saw a hot homeless man
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
