I don't think brook has ever known best
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
