I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize