Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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