$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
