Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We had to coat check the pizza.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
