My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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