He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
