wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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