OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
