His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
