I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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