He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
