it's great music for shaving your balls
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
