This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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