I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
