Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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