i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
