just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
