His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
