Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
