he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't watch enough power rangers
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize