I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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