a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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