No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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