I CAN MOONWALK!
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I could fuck to npr.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize