literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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