Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
