Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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