to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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