i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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