Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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