he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
