we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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