Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
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They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
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I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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